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PROPHET MUHAMMAD NAMED NEW CITIZEN EDITOR IN CHIEF
Upcoming Title Change to “The Prophet” In the Works The Prophet Muhammad has agreed to take over the editor-in-chief position at Citizen Schwartz for a stint that will last as long as the prophet would...
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GDK GAMING CONFERENCE V.R. SHOCKER
SEVERAL WHITE MALE PATRONS HOSPITALIZED AFTER EXPERIENCING VIRTUAL REALITY DEMOS SIMULATING BEING BLACK/FEMALE Can Virtual Reality Be Too Real for Some Gamers? VR COMPANY OCULUS ADMITS PROGRAMS MAY...
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** DEVELOPING NEWS: Informed He is Not White, Dinesh D’souza Denounces, Kills...
Pundit Throttles Self With Tie While Singing Battle Hymn of the Republic Reports indicate that Pundit and Director of the controversial film Obama’s America 2016 has killed himself upon learning of his...
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NATION STUNNED AS RUDY GIULIANI TRANSFORMS INTO LITERAL CARTOON OF HIMSELF ON...
FORMER MAYOR AS SURPRISED AS ANYONE: “THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME REAL MAGIC IN THAT LAST CLAIM ABOUT OBAMA NOT LOVING AMERICA” (New York) Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani on Saturday...
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**Evangelical Christian Who Believes Kingdom of Israel Must Arise To Bring...
(Bemidji, Minnesota) Local handyman L. Phillip Coldwater — an evangelical christian who looks forward to the rapture — is pretty sure that Minnesota Congresspeople who boycotted Tuesday’s...
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Citizen Week in Review: Benjamin Netanyahu Emerges to Warn of Imminent Threat...
Crowd Cheers at Yearly Ritual (Punxsutawney, PA) As Gobler’s Knob officials and a huge crowd of onlookers watched a small television with rapt attention and good humor Tuesday morning, Benjamin...
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DESPITE SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS, MOST AMERICANS REFUSE TO BELIEVE TED CRUZ HAS...
(LYNCHBURG, Va) Senator Ted Cruz of Texas announced on Monday morning that he would run for president in 2016, however, most Americans remain steadfastly certain that the Senator is not running....
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For the fans of “How Did This Get Made?”
Presenting the high-res version of the poster currently available to The Citizen. A new version will be created (with newer material — from Gooby to more Sly and a bunch of sharks) if the HDTGM folks...
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In Rare Kumbaya Moment, Ousted Oklahoma Frat Boy and Girl’s Writer Lena...
(Oklahoma/New York City) Ousted Oklahoma fraternity brother Levi Pettit claimed he was “deeply sorry” for leading a racist chant that got him booted out of school on Thursday morning before turning to...
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**BREAKING NEWS ** DONALD TRUMP’S HAIR-PIECE HOLDS PRESS CONFERENCE TO...
The “Trump-piece” appeared accompanied by Sy Sperling — former President of the Hair Club for Men. “You Can’t Combover Racism! The ugliness is just too big!” Declares Longtime Trump Companion (NY, NY)...
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Trump Tax Attorneys Struggle to Convince Mogul Huge Nov 8th Loss Cannot Be...
“Why Not!?!? Why Not?! Why!? “ (CS NewsDesk) In the closing days of Donald Trump’s race for the White House, unnamed sources within the campaign have revealed that profound tension is developing...
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Trump Tax Attorneys Struggle to Convince Mogul That Huge Election Loss Cannot...
“Why Not!?!? Why Not?! Why Not!? “ (CS NewsDesk) In the closing days of Donald Trump’s race for the White House, unnamed sources within the campaign have revealed that profound tension is developing...
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** DEVELOPING NEWS: Informed He is Not White, Dinesh D’souza Denounces, Kills...
Pundit Throttles Self With Tie While Singing Battle Hymn of the Republic Reports indicate that Pundit and Director of the controversial film Obama’s America 2016 has killed himself upon learning of...
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Citizen Special: Ask An N.R.A. Landlord
“Fix Your Door Lock!? Broken Locks Don’t Cause Crimes, People Do” Dear Unit 3: Got your messages about the busted lock on the front door. All of them. You don’t need to nag. I was going to get...
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** DEVELOPING NEWS: Informed He is Not White, Dinesh D’souza Denounces, Kills...
Pundit Throttles Self With Tie While Singing Battle Hymn of the Republic Reports indicate that Pundit and Director of the controversial film Obama’s America 2016 has killed himself upon learning of...
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NATION STUNNED AS RUDY GIULIANI TRANSFORMS INTO LITERAL CARTOON OF HIMSELF ON...
FORMER MAYOR AS SURPRISED AS ANYONE: “THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME REAL MAGIC IN THAT LAST CLAIM ABOUT OBAMA NOT LOVING AMERICA” (New York) Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani on Saturday...
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**Evangelical Christian Who Believes Kingdom of Israel Must Arise To Bring...
(Bemidji, Minnesota) Local handyman L. Phillip Coldwater — an evangelical christian who looks forward to the rapture — is pretty sure that Minnesota Congresspeople who boycotted Tuesday’s...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Citizen Week in Review: Benjamin Netanyahu Emerges to Warn of Imminent Threat...
Crowd Cheers at Yearly Ritual (Punxsutawney, PA) As Gobler’s Knob officials and a huge crowd of onlookers watched a small television with rapt attention and good humor Tuesday morning, Benjamin...
View ArticleClik here to view.
DESPITE SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS, MOST AMERICANS REFUSE TO BELIEVE TED CRUZ HAS...
(LYNCHBURG, Va) Senator Ted Cruz of Texas announced on Monday morning that he would run for president in 2016, however, most Americans remain steadfastly certain that the Senator is not running....
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